Who's the Coach?

                There’s a difference between being a parent and a coach. There’s also a difference between being A coach and being THE coach.

                I recently attended a youth baseball game between 11-13 year-olds at which many coaches were in the stands. Some coaches were private instructors. Some were head coaches of other teams in the same league. One was the local high school coach. It was wonderful to see so many people who love baseball at the game. Here’s what wasn’t wonderful.

                Players from both teams left the dugout on multiple occasions to talk to their mom or dad, their club coach, their private instructor, or somebody else. Plain and simple, this is wrong.

                Players belong in the dugout, on the field, in the locker room, on the sidelines or with the people who have been charged with the task of managing the game. I understand that some fields have a blurred line of what is the participants’ area and what is the spectators’ area, but it’s the job of everyone involved to try to stick to their area. It makes for a healthier, safer environment.

                Significantly more importantly, I need to address the coaching issue. I don’t care if you’ve got a plaque in Cooperstown. If you haven’t been asked by the team’s organizers to help coach that team, it’s wrong for you to coach during that game. It’s disrespectful to the coaches who are coaching the game, it could send mixed messages to the players, and it probably makes you look like a fool.

                As a college head coach, one of the things that bothers me the most is to see one of my players being counselled by somebody outside of our program during a match. I want to say, “We had practice all week. Where were you?” We’ve got nearly three-dozen influences in our program from administrators, to coaches, to trainers, to teammates to trusted alumni. They all play in integral part in developing our team and our players. If you’re not involved in the day-to-day aspect of team development, you’ve only got two possible roles on match day:

1.       A spectator

2.       A distraction

It’s no different in youth sports. While the quality of coaching varies from team to team and organization to organization, the roles must be clear cut and defined. Players play. Coaches coach. Officials officiate. Support staff fills the role assigned to them. Everyone else needs to be a spectator.

I know what some of you are thinking. You’ve got your resume ready to show me your list of accomplishments. Or maybe you’re ready with a list of all the things that your coach does incorrectly.

Here are a few things to remember before you puff up tour chest and tell me how wonderful you are.

1.       There’s more to coaching than game management. Schedule management, uniforms, practice schedules, travel arrangements, paying officials, field preparation, concessions… The list goes on. If you’re not ready for all of that, coaching isn’t for you.

2.       If you’re a coach of another team, would you want another coach influencing your sidelines without your permission?

3.       Every youth organization I’ve ever seen is understaffed and looking for more volunteers. If it’s important to you, volunteer. You’ll be glad you did.

4.       If you notice something that you’d like to help your kid/private client/player with during a game being coached by somebody else, make time for that conversation on your time, not another person’s time.

5.       If you’re the parent that consistently tries to coach from the sidelines, there’s a good chance that not only will you not be asked to coach, but that your kid will be excluded in the future because of your mouth. I know that doesn’t sound fair to the kid, but it happens in every town in America.

6.       In sports as in life, nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.